My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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