I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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