I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
