he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
