Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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