what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
