Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
