I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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