If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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