you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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