i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
