Duck Duck Cougar?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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