"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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