He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
