we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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