The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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