Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
