my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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