So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
