I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
