Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize