worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
