yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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