Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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