does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Small penises have feelings too.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize