her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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