haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
