went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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