Dual....:-)
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
