Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
