i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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