My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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