I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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