Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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