I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think my tv is drunk
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I hope mine doesn't look like that
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.