Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions