Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
no, he came in my armpit
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.