Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
