I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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