This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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