she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im holly from the hills drunk
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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