Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
