ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We are two peas in an std pod
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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