stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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