You're so nebulous sometimes
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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