oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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