FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
