After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
