the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
