Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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