saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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