I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Found the puke drawer
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
