I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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