i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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