just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
