i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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