on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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