You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
