so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
