I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
