Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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