my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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