When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
