your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
