Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
