I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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