just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
