i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
this is an emotional support booty call
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize