the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
