i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
