Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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